Last weekend was L's birthday party. It's amazing seeing my little girl growing up. She and her friends seemed to have a blast. This is the first one where we've actually invited her friends, and not just had a small family gathering. It was actually not that bad considering. The kids only got hyper after the cake, so in future we know that cake comes last. We had the party at Michael's Arts & Crafts Store and while they did an okay job I was pretty disappointed in the procedure. It's one of the less expensive party options out there, because you only pay $50 for the room and the associate to "teach" (I'm using that word loosely.) and you can choose any price craft that you want for the kids to make. Since the kids were still pretty young, we opted for one of the least expensive crafts - some Christmas hand puppets and foam ornaments. One box costs about $15 (we bought 2) and you get 8 puppets per, more than enough for the 12 kids we had there. But what bothers me is this... they say the associate will have the craft set up before the party.... the associate wasn't even in the room when it started, we had to go find her in the store, and nothing was set up. It could have gone so much smoother. And finally, every child ended up getting taught one by one. I did as much helping as the associate did, sometimes more. Maybe I'm just biased... but I worked at Michaels for 3 years. I did this woman's job and I know her job description like the back of my own hand. She could have handled it way better. Oh well. Can't change the past, right?
After we had a small gathering at home with the in-laws and my mom where we had far too much food, and not enough time to do everything. L managed to open her presents, but it was crazy rushed. I was constantly herding people back into the room so we could finish since J and I needed to get ready to leave and go to his work Christmas party! With the downtown traffic, it took us two hours to drive there which was insane, but at least we made it before the dinner started with enough time to socialize a bit. It was a pretty fun night, our table won the trivia game (we were oh so close last year!) and J also won one of the door prizes so we left with a couple $10 gift cards, very helpful around this time of year! We got home around 12:30, and collapsed into bed. How's that for a day?!
To add to that, I had a little bit of a freak-out on Friday night since the party was business casual. Now - I used to work in an office place so I have plenty of business-style clothing... or so I thought. I went into my closet on Friday night, to pull out all my clothing... and nothing fit. I mean NOTHING. I thought about it for a bit... when I was still living at home, pre-babies, pre-marriage. I put on some weight. I went up to size 8 - and I was devastated... (please note, I am only 5'2" so any weight makes me look much larger - I should be around 115 - 120, healthy). I made my mom join a club with me and we lost the extra size. Not that we knew much or how to do it, but we were determined. I went back down to my size 6, and even dropped back to size 3/4 for my wedding. But here's the realization... I am now a size 16. Which, for my height is considered obese. Nothing fits me anymore. Only my t-shirts and stretch pants which I virtually live in. I was fine with that, it only bothered me a bit - until I saw over $2000 worth of clothing in my closet that I had no hope in hell in fitting. I couldn't even start zippers. And I wondered how the hell I'd done this to myself, without even blinking an eye. How did I go from that girl who freaked out over a single size jump, to a woman who put on 50 pounds and countless inches without even noticing she was getting larger and larger. And of course, I know the answer... or both answers, really in my case.
- Children - two of them, back to back in two years. Couple that with hypertension (your body gets all the food, and baby gets nothing) and gestational diabetes (baby gets all the sugar, and you get nothing), and by the time I finished up, I was already 175. With the diabetic training, I did manage to drop back to 155, but remember, I love to bake, so it's all too easy to put that weight back on again. I no longer have diabetes, but if things continue the way they have, I will in the future.
- My husband - he has never eaten extraordinarily healthy, and lately, we've been too lazy to make proper meals - so we end up eating a lot of crap. He's put on as much, if not more than me, but I guess it doesn't bother him as much. But that's for him to do. I'm not worrying about him because, I've tried to talk to him about losing weight with me, and he - doesn't seem interested. Not sure how to do that but it's the old adage I suppose... you can lead a horse... well we all know the rest.
So after two hours of crying incessantly, and dumping all the clothing I can't fit into a plastic bin to get it out of my closet, (since there is no point in it being in there if I can't wear it!) I came to a decision. I am going to start a workout regime. I am not going to say "tomorrow" anymore. I am going to lose this weight and get somewhere back from a size 16. So I started Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred on Saturday morning before all the parties started. I even deprived myself of having either of my daughter's cakes (either the store bought one, or the one I made) except for a couple small bites. I am bound and determined, I tell you! I will not fail this one! And to report, that first day of working out? I couldn't even finish the 22 minute set. How sad is that? When I was dating my husband we used to rollerblade for 20 km easy, and would only turn around because it got dark. And now, I can't finish a 22 minute work out.
But day two was better, I managed the whole thing. It took me two advil, and a hot bath, but I did it! I'm still hurting, very badly. My legs are the worst. You'd think that me being a newspaper carrier who walks around the whole neighbourhood with almost 100 papers once (used to be twice) a week, my legs would be stronger. You'd be wrong. They hurt. A lot. And my stomach hurts (which I'm actually very happy about.) It's not a hunger pain. It's a "you've worked your core muscles" pain. And since that's what I'm hating most on, thank god! I love you Jillian Michael right now! I've tried a couple workout regimes over the last couple years and none of them has tortured me so much. But it's what I need right now and I hope it does help me to shrink back down. I don't really expect to lose weight, but I need to lose those inches. I need to stand a chance of getting back into the clothing I used to wear. Because I can't face the devastating thought of not wearing it ever again. I used to love some of those outfits.
I haven't managed day three yet, but I will. Once I take some more pain meds. But I did go on a 40 minute walk this morning with my son, and it was still hurting my muscles to walk it. (which is also new, I do this walk all the time, and it never hurts like it did today) I figure couple that with some massive portion control and deprivation of the sweets I so adore (at least for a while!) and I should see some major progress over the coming weeks, even with Christmas looming. I just need to watch out for the chocolate...
